Between Black and Sunshine by Francis Haven

Author:Francis, Haven [Francis, Haven]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2015-06-06T07:00:00+00:00

Chapter Twenty Three - Luca

I spent the morning in the campus security offices. I haven’t slept in more than thirty hours. I’ve been running on adrenaline; worried about Jude, then pissed off at Piper, then trying, with everything I’ve got, to control myself with the security assholes so that I could get the hell out of there.

Now that I’m finally home I should rest for a while. My mind is buzzing and my body is shaking. My thoughts are all over the place and may possibly be becoming delusional. I feel fucking crazy. Is Jude really not talking to me? Is she mad at me? Did I do something? Did she do something… like meet a guy, or have sex with someone? Is she avoiding me because she hates me or because she hates herself? And where the hell is she staying? She’s not at the dorm, she’s not at her studio, she wasn’t at any of the house parties I searched out last night… where the fuck could she be?

As far as I know, Piper and I are all she has, so wherever she is, it’s not with someone she knows. Piper’s friends? But who are her friends? She seems like the type of girl who has a lot of guy friends. I’m sure Jude is at a strange guy’s house. Where the fuck is she? Why isn’t she with me? I shouldn’t have ever let her go, I should have been with her last night. I knew this; everything inside of me was telling me that I should have been with her last night. But I didn’t fucking listen, and now I don’t have her.

This last thought sends me into a rage that’s been building all morning. I can hear myself yelling, I can see myself grabbing random shit and throwing it across the room. I feel my hand go through the plaster in my wall. I feel it go through again, and then I’m face down on the floor, hands and knees holding me there. I thrash and yell some more, get a hold of an arm and yank it off me. Then there is an entire body on my arm, holding it down. I fight and yell until reality starts sinking into my crazy brain. It mixes with Anthony and Rake’s voices. They’re telling me to calm down. They’re telling me I’m gonna hurt myself. I stop thrashing eventually.

“Are you done spazing out, man? Can I let your arm go?” Rake asks, but he’s already got his big ass standing up. I feel Anthony’s hands back off too. I push myself off the floor and stand, which leads to pacing.

“Dude, you have to chill. You can’t just go flying off the handle like that. Whatever you’re so pissed about, I’m sure there’s a better way to deal with it,” Anthony tells me.

“Jude,” I manage to say. “I don’t know where she is. She won’t answer her phone, her friend won’t tell me where the hell she is.

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